Holy Jesus, Holy Mary
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Holy Jesus, Holy Mary
Here I am in County Derry
Just a Fresher under pressure
But this ticking thing beside me makes me wary
There’ve been bomb scares, two or three now
Brought me gasmask, use it somehow
At the ready, I’ll be steady
For me Mum has even bullet-proofed me vests now
But take me home, oh Jesus Mary
Take me home, it’s really scary
This small case is ticking at a pace
That’s getting faster every minute
Jesus Mary, there’s a fairy
I’m in heaven far too early
Holy terror, it’s a mirror
But me hair that once was straight has all gone curly
Just a minute, just a jiffy
I see something sort of pretty
It’s got tights on, it’s got lights on
And there’s something in the way she screams that’s gritty
Leave me here, dear Jesus Mary
Leave me here, I’m getting very
Ex cit ed, to think I might be dead
But here I am – I’ve got a plan
Like a king in his castle
I’ve been sitting near this parcel
My alarm clock’s packed and ticking
When she comes my way I’ve got her for the picking
As she passes I will shout
‘There’s a bomb in here – look out!’
Then like a hero I’ll remove it
And watch the fireworks inside explode to prove it
Skies are clearing,’twas just a shower
And there’s many a pretty flower
Pleasant day here, think I’ll stay here
And the bar is opening up in half an hour
Leave me here, though rain is lashing
Leave me here, there’s beer splashing
In my ear, it’s what I want to hear
It’s getting better every minute
Holy Jesus, Holy Mary
Here I am in County Derry
Just arrived here, still alive here
And to think of leaving now would be contrary
Words ©Garvin Crawford
Coleraine, October, 1971
To the tune of Ponchielli’s ‘Dance of the Hours’
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